Go hard or go home
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8am Jet2 flight out of Edinburgh is normally ok. Yes, squads have been up since 3am and on the sauce in the airport but because of this by take off most are ready for a nap again and it’s usually pretty chill. A mix of steady drinkers and folk sleeping off the early drinks.
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The professional Jakey Bar Stewards!
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I’m hoping some of you can help me. Friends of mine are going over to celebrate a milestone and have asked:
“If I want to lay in a cabana on thr beach with some tropical house dj playing all day and possibly rent book bottle service and escalate my slight day buzz into a full send dance on my day bed, swim drunkenly in the water and stumble home to freshen for a night out… where am I looking on the island?”
Any ideas? Don’t worry I also asked what tropical house is.
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Sounds like a Blue Marlin style turn out to me. Or Beach House. El Silencio starts to be a bit more of a TP vibe.
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I hear the White Lotus is nice?
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I nearly sent them to Wayne Lineker’s O Beach.
Exhibit A: the lesser-spotted Yonner in his natural habitat.
Oh wow. That’s grim.
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That’s a grown ass man behaving like a spoilt toddler 
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Englishmen not knowing how to act in public.
A tale as old as time itself.
(use a Morgan Freeman or a David Attenborough voice. Both work equally well)
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My fav bit was the little jump up and down. Even My 4 year old hasn’t done that in a while!
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I’d just been writing exactly that! Fecking hilarious. The flight attendants were doing so well to stay calm. Poor souls.
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Looking at the preview promos for Universe unvrs or whatever, I wonder that it has the potential to be 80’s fabulous if they had the balls to position the DJ booths up and away out of sight and programmed residents over superstar DJ’s and made the club and dancers the star of the show. Guess we’ll never know
Looks like Fred Sirieix
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Our nephew playing the other room for Paradise in September. Tempted to arrange a few days out there around that and make of the most of the Guestlist for a nosey.
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My idea of hell
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One the squad has to take one for the team and report back 
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