Thank you so much. It means a lot.
So sorry for your loss too. I’m glad you’re able to start remembering your mum in happier times now.
I was the same with my dad (bowel cancer). Gradually the images of him before he died subsided and the fonder memories replaced them.
So nice that you can share these things with your daughter too x
It may or may not have been already mentioned here but my go to for a reset is a Weekly Sauna and cold water plunge. Something about the nervous system and they way it helps let go of what I would call biologically held stress, sets me up and puts a lot of shit into perspective.
Also reading this thread, Men, we never truly check in with each other… this needs to change.
Read recently that cold showers every day can do similar.
Chronic pain is a terrible thing to have to deal with. I hope you’re getting good medical advice, as it can hamper a lot of the activities that help with one’s mental health.- walking, exercise, socialising, sleeping, etc etc
There’s not much else to add, really. There is so much good advice here, and, as has been said before, it’s brilliant that this is a space where people feel comfortable talking about these things.
Im a bit out of habit but routine was go to bed 8:45 (PM!) & read until 9:30 ( no phone) & wake up 5.55
Sleeping well is underrated
I drink weekends so Monday is usually very full of dreams but by Wed struggle to keep eyes open at 8:30. By now out by 630 with dogs & its light
Seconded. Sleep is the one of the most important factors, especially listening to your body’s own circadian rhythm. Ive always been a naturally early-riser. I’m usually up between 0430-0500 and during the week, if I’m awake past 2230 and don’t get at least 6 hours kip, then the next day I really struggle - eating shit food, not on the ball, etc.
I travel a lot for work across time zones and I really heed to prioritize sleep more. When I’m home for a week and get some sleep I really feel the difference. Trick is doing it on the road.
Sleeping is a problem here. Partly due to stress, partly diet, partly the couple on the seventh floor who shag like elephants and whose bed urgently needs some WD40…
Considering a white noise generator. Extra insulation is too expensive
Wax earplugs?
I’ve sat here trying to write something meaningful/helpful about my struggles over the years but always seems to turn into self indulgent whinery. At 61½ I think I’ve overcome most of my demons, so there is definitely hope going forward if you get some form of help. I wouldn’t say I’ve reached any sort of epiphany, I feel the same person as when I was 20, but I don’t worry about any of it anymore. I think all the adversity has made me stronger and just living day to day now.
Never had any therapy, still drink etc. Moderate exercise and still surf.
Biggest daily help with mood swings/despair has been Vitamin D. Wish I’d started it sooner has been a literal life changing addition.
6! I advocate 8 ( but each to their own)
I’ve found i need far less as i get older. 7 is probably my sweetspot, tbh, but 6 is the minimum I can function normally on.
God what I’d give for 8 hours sleep a night. The only time I get close to 8 is when I’m on holiday or ill.
As I said Im out the habit at minute & you have to train yourself a bit ( bed by 9, no phone & read a book until 930) Within a few weeks yawning by 830
7 hours does me sound. Up at 5ish without an alarm in the week (old man piss involved usually) but the weekends seem to give me a bit more rest.
Lovely thread, on a lovely forum, full of lovely people. 
Lots of great advice and I don’t have a great deal to add - everything you need to maintain good mental health has already been said. Eat well, be active and pay attention to your sleep. Something that has been crucial for myself, is to have a creative outlet. It’s ridiculously easy to sideline these things as you get older, family and career.
I’m not necessarily recommending this for anyone, but psychedelics have been a big part of my current stability (I’m bi-polar). I take them once a year as a psychological spring clean. No matter what bullshit I might have started telling myself, it’s all wiped out in a single evening.
Another thing that is not necessarily a recommendation (everyone is different), is Internal Family Systems. It is a kind of anti-therapy, therapy. It has been life changing for me - I’ve got more work done with this, on my own, than I ever did with a lot of hours of conventional therapy.
My DM’s are always open to anyone who is struggling.
The test pressing meet up has taken a turn, most will be in bed by 9:30 
Can I just apologise for that? It’s a metal bed and the springs have gone
I can’t speak to keeping good hours rarely in bed before one cat nap in the day… always been the same.
That said CBD is great for a good snooze
Purple one from this lot especially:
My partner and I have an acidic “date night” once every couple of months. Could be camping, hanging at home in a hammock and listening to music, watching movies or DJing together. I agree it’s a nice reset button and perpective leveller.