Sorry to hear that man it really is awful and I’m in a similar position myself and probably why I haven’t been posting on here in while (still lurk and read everyday though ha)
But yeah I’m 30 so a decade younger and I’ve fully hit rock bottom this past year or so. Been on the sick from work for a few months and spent a lot of time hating my life trapped in the house doing nothing. What I feel helps the most is trying to get outside even if it’s just for an hour a day, a good diet as hard as it may be to cook when you’re not feeling good upstairs. But the main thing is try not to isolate yourself too much and talk to people, reach out to family and friends as often as you can. Hope you figure this out man and feel free to drop me a message on here anytime. One love x
Just don’t do what I did and self sabotage all your friendships and relationships or push away the people who are trying to help you because I’m still trying to re build all those burnt bridges. I’m still currently losing sleep over it every night but time is the best healer and I’m hopeful everything will work out in the end
Feeling your pain - there’s nothing quite like back pain!
Around 15 years ago… whilst walking up and down the hospital stairs with my wife, trying to hurry along the arrival of our first daughter, I felt the beginnings of an awful sciatic pain down my leg. Fast forwarding through some months of increasing agony, a misdiagnosis from an osteopath that prescribed exercises that exacerbated the problem… and at the lowest point was crawling to the toilet on my belly screaming like Ned Flanders, I was eating 20mg Codeines like smarties, drinking whiskey and smoking weed to get through each day, leaving my poor wife to essentially raise our baby girl alone. We went to cry in front of a surgeon, who showed me a scan of where a slipped-disc’s liquid had hardened into my sciatic nerve. By this point physcially, I resembled a twisted yellow question mark, my kidneys showing the stress from all the codeine.
I was lucky enough to have surgery that sorted the problem, and as I came around from the op, squeezing my morphine release syringe, watching the sun set on the roof of the hospital and crying at ‘Marley & Me’… I smiled at the relief and good times to come. However, the next week I spent slowly coming off the codeine in the spare room, cursing each cry from our daughter, feeling rats running over me at night… truly the worst thing I’ve ever felt.
I built up strength through short walks and was then sent on a 3-week Pilates for Beginners course. I learnt an hour routine that I still use to this day (no more running or 5-a-side or impact sports allowed for me ever). I was amused to have developed my first accidental 6-pack too! Since then, I’ve re-invented myself as a committed (commuting) cycler and occasional swimmer. Whenver I slack off these things I can feel a twinge of weakness in my lower back that gets me off my ass. The dog helps with this too.
I read somewhere this year, that back trouble has been linked with emotional and psychological issues… I can look back at some big events in my life with a wry smile. The night before getting married to my wife, I’d let a severe wind get to my neck on a walk and was unable to get out of bed on our big day without a whiskey and some painkillers. Seems like there’s always something with me.
During the stresses of the pandemic, I realised that this could go one of two ways… buy a load of weed and start drinking through the week… or try and get on top of the building feelings of stress… I got great benefit from looking into breathwork (wim hof) and still take cold showers twice daily (not had a cold or any illness now in 5 years). I have the occasional mash-up but really feel it afterwards (I’m 50 soon). I’ve just done 100 days no-booze and, like everyone above has said, the exercise and being outdoors and allowing time for yourself to enjoy music, films, friends is what makes a life worth living. Oh yeah, gummies and wonky choc help in v small doses too!
Wishing you all the best for getting past this.
I struggle with depression. I’ve been micro-dosing lithium for the last 6 months and it seems to be a bit of a game changer. Tons of info (some real science and some hype) online. I take 5mg of lithium orotate daily.
i really appreciate all of the advice. The advice about the right therapist resonated with me. I’ve been seeing mine for about 5 years, and while she’s good for the little things and the past, but for the present feelings she is simply the wrong therapist for the job. I was fighting with the thoughts that it was me and I needed to make the current situation suit her style and not necessarily me. When I read that above it was a huge weight off my shoulders.
Micro dosing with lsd or mushrooms.
I have a girl friend who regularly does this with imported truffles mixed with chocolate. Ive had some off her and had a few goes along with my lad, who suffers from adhd (as well) and we find it very therapeutic.
Cant comment on the long term affects but for those few hours all is good in my / our heads.
I had to come off it for other reasons 
.
Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time, and thank you for sharing.
Some amazingly caring and relatable advice too.
I’ve been in a real funk lately. I have a 92 year old mother who seems to have given up the fight and that’s destroying me, a job I have no interest in. I’m listless, tired, apathetic and generally mopey and moody.
MUSIC. Exercise, pilates, and kick boxing have helped me no end though.
Also, the importance of this forum cannot be understated. It played an important part in getting me through the whole Covid thing.
I can’t really add much to the excellent advice above, except to say if your back can take it, the therapeutic effects of gardening ( especially voluntary gardening somewhere well run) are increasingly well recognised. This ain’t a bad book on the subject either:
https://www.suestuartsmith.com/book
Mate, losing a parent, especially your mother is never a good time.
But at 92, you just have to stand up and applaud.
That’s some age to live too.
Please don’t torture yourself, no one lasts forever.
Just make sure when your mum does go that she knows exactly how much she is loved by you and yours.
This forum is great for loads of reasons such as this thread, we feel comfortable talking about stuff that we might not say to our friends or partners and the replies show you are not alone in whatever battle you have going on… 
As for me going solo to house party few weeks ago dripping in Black Panther @Moodynann I was lucky to get out alive… 
Ha ha brilliant! Were you being ravished?
Thank you x That brought some tears.
You’re right too, she’s done so well. Hard watching it all deteriorate for her though.
Fuck getting old. Just send me to Switzerland with some decent tunes and lots of drugs.
Hope anyone struggling with their mental health in any way has the love and support they need to help them get through it.
Love you lot (The Malbec is taking effect).
Felt cute may delete later x
Have to agree. Escitalopram and Sertraline have both worked for me (not at the same time)
However benefits of SSRI’s (if you consider medication as an option) aren’t usually felt for 2-3 months.
In addition it’s recommended that you have counselling alongside medication
(although wait times on the NHS are long, and of course private counselling can be very costly which doesn’t help)
You can get side effects when you start medication and can feel worse for a while, but they can be a lifesaver for some people so it’s worth hanging in there if it’s the right option for you.
I lost my mother 2 years ago, to Dementia, she was 75, so I can relate mate, miss her everyday.
For awhile I could only remember her as the person the illness had made her for the last years of her life but for the last few months i’ve been remembering the real her, before the dementia took hold, and it’s like grieving again.
Yesterday was really bittersweet because I visited an area the really reminded me of her, in beautiful weather and with my young daughter who never got the chance to get to know her Gran properly.
I don’t have anything to say that’s gonna make you feel magically better but just cherish the memories and be grateful you had her in your life for so long.
40s were OK but 50s …( I think lockdown exacerbated everything)
Long covid for 6 months left me with bad anxiety (stopping on walks & sobbing on park benches)
Medication helped in short term but Im not a fan
Now OK & would recommend exercise, dogs in general, dog walking & fresh air
Another big thing is talking about it to people rather than holding it all in ( very british man thing)
I also credit Accupuncture for solving my anxiety but don’t try it at home with drawing pins!
I have internalised everything since childhood and still do. Feels kind of liberating reading these posts. Hats off to those who have actually addressed problems and approached them head on. The sand has always been my first port of call.
A topic that I don’t think has been touched upon here yet is the importance of sleep.
Sleep (or lack thereof) is a major contributor to your health. I can’t recall the last time I had an entire night’s uninterrupted sleep and it is literally killing me.
A melatonin tablet before bed does help but they leave me a bit groggy the next morning. One of my kids stayed at a friends place the other night and I slept in her room - best sleep in ages. My wife and I have already agreed that as soon as one of the kids moves out, we will have sepearate rooms. She snores and I have to sleep with noise cancelling headphones all night every night - it’s far from ideal.
I rad recently that you can’t “catch up” on lost sleep, so every time you decide to stay up all night is just detrimental to your long term health.
Obviously drinking at night isn’t doing you any favours when it comes to sleep. Thankfully, I haven’t been much of a drinker for ages now and recently I stopped drinking altogether but I know that loads of men still hit the booze regularly before or after dinner, and it definitely messes with your sleep cycle.
Anybody else suffer with sleep issues, and if so, do you have any advice to share here?
I find x2 magnesium tablets before bed does the trick and gets me a good nights sleep 
rule #1 : get rid of all screens in the sleeping room and have a filter on your devices (f.lux does the trick here)