Great thread this.
Geoff Capes signing Kit Kats, Roy Walker eating pasties (Say what you see Roy), Bernie Winters being narky, Boris not getting spiked at Glasto, Deirdre Barlow smoking Superkings, Bjork flirting, Dean Gaffney pushing old ladies over, Duncan Goodhew, Curly Watts and getting wrestled to the floor by Gary Glitter on Tiswas 
. Some absolute belters 
He’s got one joke! He makes it last for ages too. Timing is everything…
"People often say to me…
huge pause while he looks away into the distance
What are you doing in my garden?"
I bought a car who’s previous owner was James Dyson and seriously it had V6 engine.
I once delivered some furniture to Diana Dors, my summer holiday job. She was the loveliest lady, made us sit down and have tea and cake.
Jimmy Saville…no, best not!
Sharing an empty tube train for a considerable amount of time with Steve Pemberton & Reece Shearsmith sat opposite me. Couldn’t bring myself to say anything. I play it far too cool when it comes to those kind of situations. A constant regret. My admiration was too much to express.
Oh Justin Justin my very own Justin
T’Pau Carol was very keen on working with Underworld for some time and would ring up to ask. : )
Last time i was in NYC Ryuichi Sakamoto walked into the subway car I was in for a couple of stops and I was completely star struck and never got the courage to go up to him to say hello. I kind of regret that…
I was at a private view and Linton Kwesi Johnson was there. There were some more well known people there (like Peter Blake) so no-one really noticed him and he was just having a browse around.
I also failed to say anything but my whole body reacted - I was completely starstruck - he is such a massive hero of mine and I love every word he has ever spoken.
Sound like your grandfather met the Groovy Grandparent brief perfectly 
I was in Fat City records once on a quiet day, a Sunday afternoon i think, only other customers in there were Lord Finesse, from the legendary (in the Hip Hop world anyway) Diggin’ In The Crates crew, & his pal.
Disappointingly he wasn’t enquiring about some ultra rare Funk nugget but about The Fighting Temptations soundtrack but he still he exuded laidback cool.
Alas I didn’t manage to summon the balls to tell him i was a fan.
One of many greats I used to follow around the record conventions trying to catch a glimpse of what they were buying. The Roosevelt, Holiday Inn conventions etc were a small claims bonanza as were A1 and Sound Library later on.
Finesse by the way is one of the most down to earth people in hip hop not to mention a triple threat rapper/dj/producer in the highest echelon of all three.
Was just reading an article about Zandra Rhodes and remembered she was working in our studio once and borrowed a pink Caran d’Ache pencil AND never gave it back. Fuming still, now I remember.
Souls of Mischief once signed a copy of their 12” I just bought as they taken a few into the shop (Underground/Edinburgh) to sell.
Only got 3 signatures on it as Tajai had nipped out for a piss and I couldn’t be arsed waiting for him. Also, didnt know if I could trust he’d washed his hands either. #scratchandsniff
I used to work In a once pretty hip Berlin pastrami joint, one day this old dude walks in and loudly proclaims to the small space that "his grandfather " is gonna pay for everyones meals- he was Henry Winkler (the Fonz from happy days) and his grandfather was William Shatner- they were both absolutely hilarious. They were also accompanied by a very surly looking George Forman, who got even surlier when I asked him if he wanted his jumbo, off-menu salad to be grilled (lol could not resist)
Surely the winner
After watching Billy Bragg play a solid 2 hour gig in the late 80’s, we were hanging around the venue finishing our drinks sitting on the edge of the stage, just us, the cleaners and staff left in the venue. Billy suddenly appeared, sat down and joined us for a surprise chat. He’d freshened up and changed clothes. The first thing I did was scoot over nearer to him, knocking his freshly poured ale all over the shorts he was wearing and soaking him. To his credit, he took it in his stride(s) and was only slightly annoyed.
a few other moments of lame glory:
I directed Alan Cumming to where the bathrooms were at The Cricketers Arms Hotel
Saw Steve-O at sydney airport when i was checking in and couldn’t resist saying “Steeeeve-O!” to him as I walked past. I was rewarded with that infamous sandpaper rasp replying “oh hey duuuude, how’s it going?” - classic.
Shared a joint with members of Jesus Jones post gig back in the 90s
Posed for a photo once with Michael Franti and asked him to throw up this stupid hand gesture that was a private joke between myself and one other mate. He asked “this isn’t going to get me shot, is it?”
Saw Angry Anderson from Rose Tattoo at a cafe in Perth sitting at the next table. Asked for a photo and he told my gf and I that he was in a hurry - plane to catch. I said “no worries” and then he said “ok, ok, make it quick”. He stood between us and just before the photo was taken he loudly said “1,2,3…TITS!”
Discovered that one of the teachers at my son’s primary school was secretly moonlighting as a performance art hardcore rapper called “MC Filth Wizard”. One day I was at the school and mid conversation with him I started peppering the conversation with lyrics from one of his songs. Took him a confused moment, but when he realised he’s been rumbled, the look on his face was fucking priceless.
Here’s a sad one though…
back in the day a mate of mine was a childhood friend of Dieter Brummer aka Shane from home and Away. He used to come and hang out in our flat in Randwick and we introduced him to the Gravitron - a type of bucket bong. Lovely guy and very down to earth. One day the Irish backpackers that leased the flat below came up for a few beers and Dieter was over. They were so starstruck and pronounced “y-youre Shane!” he was very gracious to them and as I mentioned, a normal decent bloke.
Cut to just last week and after losing touch and not having seen him for many years, I get a
Facebook friend request from Dieter and we had a little chat, nothing heavy or telling. Then today I open my computer to see he’d taken his own life.
Please reach out to your mates if Covid or anything at all is getting you down…I can’t speak for what others are going through, but please - talk to a mate, or even a stranger if you feel rotten.
I used to box in boys club tournaments. Henry Cooper came round for his Golden Belt show. He was all class. I had high hopes for the golden belt but broke my wrist slipping on the stairs on the way to the ring. He gave me a big hug and ruffled my hair. Emotional polaroid moment for me.