Tarquin and Crispin turnout
Apparently not a piss-take.
Never gets old 
The correct Carbonara recipe is the source of much debate. Usually it’s about the subtle differences in either cheese or bacon, the type of olive oil or the correct pasta to use.
Whilst on holiday in France last week I was making a carbonara for my french freinds when one suggested I added his chopped peppers and courgettes to the mix. I raised an eyebrow but as I was a guest in his house I obliged.
He had given me some very fine grade spaghetti to use which i reckoned would take about 5mins to cook.
Shall I put the pasta on? Sure he said.
Ok i’m ready to go, sauce all combined fresh parmesan (not pecorino) added and I’m ready to serve.
“Oh no we not gonna eat now, i’m gonna take a shower…”
Right oh!
I got brownie points from my wife for how well I coped and in the end it actually tasted pretty good. Not a carbonara though.
Core memory unlocked of the cupboard in my teenage bedroom regularly deciding my haphazard stacking of books/comics/board games/tennis racquets/random assorted shit could no longer function as a cohesive mass under the effects of gravity and flinging itself out onto the floor at midnight.
Absolute and complete terror paralysis 
Hahaha!