That’s great advice.
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Met a ex girlfriend tonight who was there from our first rave days here in Ireland the golden years for us was 1991 - 96, we’re still best friends and can tell eachother again, just a great girl who’s had more trauma and health issues and still getting on with it 
She had 3 kids with a guy another friend and two died one a beautiful little girl was born with some serious health issues and died 6yrs old and her oldest a swimming instructor and really fit good lad went to a party couple of years ago took some thing and went into seizure when he got home and she found him dead on the couch 
She’s been separated from her partner for years and they are more like brother and sister. these days… She told me in confidence tonight that he has early signs of dementia 
He’s only 53 yrs old…
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Oh jeez poor girl x
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Blimey that is rough man. Lost two friends over Christmas unexpectedly, life can be a shitshow sometimes. Big love.
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It’s been a crap start to the year. A mate of mine was one of the two Brits killed in an avalanche in Val D’Isere a few weeks back. He was a bit of a risk taker, so I take some comfort knowing he died enjoying himself to the full. Still can’t quite wrap my head around it though. What a way to go?!
I also recently got back into the gym and now have a PT. The effect it’s had on my mental health has been quite astounding. Can highly recommend any sort of exercise if you’re in a funk. I’m doing at least 10k steps per day and resistance training / lifting 4 days a week. The endorphins are kicking in and the fog is lifting.
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just been at a “house dance” session. it was awesome. everyone sober and present, no smoking, so refreshing. plenty old heads, lots of circles and everyone just letting loose the juice! I only lasted 3 hours and I’m gonna feeeeel the pain tomorrow💀
music was on that post-prescription Ron trent/coflo ethereal tech? vibes. could have done with some broken stuff but everyone (young and old) was just going for it!
I highly recommend locating your local house dance session crew and checking it out
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Loads of young house dancers came on stage when Osunlade was playing at Southport. It could’ve been cringe but wasn’t as the old heads in attendance were just supportive of the youngsters doing it right. It was great, in fact.
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Felt super depressed recently. All these cringey jobs to pay the bills, with no end in sight
On the plus side, we booked a cheap camping/hiking weekend in the Aragón Pyrenees in June, a beautiful national park with freshwater swimming and stuff.
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This is the balance, isn’t it, where work just becomes the thing you do (not who you are) to pay for the things that really matter. Aware that the work part is not always easy but it’s certainly the mindset shift a lot of people I know are undergoing.
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A great doc on Addiction, Trauma, Mental Health & the power of the stories we tell.
A VPN needed for non US people.
https://tubitv.com/movies/701292/is-your-story-making-you-sick
Or read/listen to Gabor Mate. He literally changed my life and how I view mental health, addiction, suffering of others, the limitations of health care and education, being a parent, the importance of authenticity in your life, the huge amount of scientific evidence that undermines the current paradigm yet is ignored, the huge emotional burden placed on women leading to illness, radical empathy.
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Became the lucky recipient of prescriptions for the SNRIs Venlafaxine and Duloxetine for neuropathic pain. Must be the strangest state I’ve ever been in, having the brain flooded with large doses of serotonin and norepinephrine. Suspended in amniotic fluid is how I’d describe it. A thick fog of tepid nothingness. The results of being referred to psychiatrists are truly fascinating.
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Just wanted to say that I stumbled on this forum a few weeks ago and have been stunned there is still a place for polite discourse on the internet. I’ve just gone through one of my most challenging years: first kids (twins) were born 2 months premature with serious health issues (brain bleed, cardiac issues, etc etc), so I spent last summer in the NICU dreading updates from the doctors. I work in healthcare for the feds and spent several months wondering if my job would be cut by DOGE, experienced ongoing harassment from our national office/Elon Musk, and had to support my direct reports through that hot mess. Our home flooded due to a collapsed pipe that cost us tens of thousands of dollars. I’m now the sole income earner so my wife can care for these two kids because neither of us have family near (purposefully, they’ve turned into conservative conspiracy theorists). I work a second job as a psychotherapist on weekends for extra income which puts strain on our relationship/parental duties. I’m drinking more to cope/dissociate through the sleepless nights. Just an unbelievable amount of stress and worry without any time for self-care. Adding to that I have longstanding mental health issues (OCD, depression).
Until yesterday. I had the day off and we had a nanny watch the kids. I went to a record store for a dig for the first time in almost two years. I forgot the kind of simple joy it gives me. Reading the entirety of this thread in the past 24 hours helps me realize everyone is going through their shit, and I forget to count my bountiful blessings. I have two kids now 1 year old who are healthy, smart, hilarious, and adorable. I still have a job (although stressful) that affords my family its needs and access to healthcare. I get to introduce these boys to music I’m still discovering at 40 years old. Pretty badass. Thank you for this space to connect! 
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As I may have mentioned earlier in this thread, the main source of my stress and misery is my job. Ive been in this industry (mortgages) 20 years now and doing this particular job for the last 12. I decided I dont want to do it for another 20 so made the first steps to getting the F out and signed up for an evening class in something completely different (counselling). It could be long way off but if in 4-5 years im qualified to do something else I think that new challenge would really do me good. Just hope I can navigate the drop in income that comes with starting from scratch.
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If you’re planning to do solely private practice it will depend a lot on how many clients you want to see. If you’d like help getting setup I’d be glad to walk you through the steps for getting paneled with insurance, free or low-cost software, etc. which I know can seem overwhelming. Also PP can be incredibly lonely so happy to consult on cases, etc if you’re into that. I find it nice to bounce ideas off someone.
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Ever since Covid, I’ve been relatively self isolated for the most part, staying home on weekends and not connecting with mates largely due to factors such as distance, laziness and mild depression. I broke my shoulder recently and have been really limited in my movements literally and figuratively.
A few weeks ago I made the decision to change my attitude and get out of my comfort zone by looking on reddit and facebook for men’s groups in my local area where I could gain some fresh perspective and meet people outside of my circle. Most of them I found were either a bit woo woo or not within my interests. That is, until I found one called Tough Guy Book Club. It ticked all the boxes - met once a month in a pub 11 minutes from my house. They have a “no talking about work” rule and a “no dickheads” policy. The books are all fiction novels and a really wide range of titles.
I went to my first meet up last week and was immediately welcomed and felt at ease. I went in with the attitude of just sitting back and observing to feel it out for the first session, but found myself engaging and interacting like I’d been going there for ages. The questions asked by the chapter moderator opened the door for some candid/personal input from everybody and nothing felt forced or awkward. I came away from it feeling really positive and like I’d made a great decision in attending. I’m looking forward to reading this month’s book and the next meet up.
They have chapters in the UK, USA, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, Spain, Sweden.
Website for anybody interested is here
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Thanks man. Feel like that might be long way off yet but i’ll keep it mind.
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I did a post grad certHE in counselling to get out of the corporate sector gives you a foothold to consider other options
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Been away for a bit and reading this tells me everything is all alright.
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I’m currently training/studying to do counselling (UK). If I can help in any way, fire me a PM anytime.
I changed career completely (with a big drop in income) and it was the best decision. I have 1 permanent 30 hour job and 2 casual positions in Health & Social Care. I am getting experience (and training) in everything from dementia, mental health, addiction, first aid, suicide prevention, end of life care and homelessness.
I’m doing my Masters very slowly, but seriously thinking of going down the counselling route with the training through work instead of psychotherapy. Love my jobs and never have that back to work dread and have met some amazing people.
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Thanks man. Always nice to hear a success story! My course starts in September so will see how I get on.
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