It’s horrible. I had my first DPDR episode 12 years ago, never been so terrified in all my life. Lasted for months. Have occasional milder symptoms now every so often-so I have to be careful and look after myself.
People don’t believe you when you tell them which I understand- but in reality the symptoms are just a manifestation of hyper anxiety fucking with your brain chemistry -and it going into self preservation mode-but when it first happens, you genuinely think you’re going mad- nothing looks real, everything is two dimensional- you feel totally emotionally blunted and don’t recognise the sound of your own voice - I couldn’t leave the house for weeks-
There’s a film ‘Numb’ starring Matthew Perry which whilst not a brilliant film is a pretty accurate look at what it’s like. The director based it on his own experiences.
Both mate. Still on meds. If you reduce the anxiety the other symptoms tend to be controllable- that’s the trick. Episodic for me but no serious issues last few years, as I take much better care of myself these days- Pretty normal life now. I had it coming I think …years of stress and anxiety- shit happens.
I’ve rationalised it down the years. I feel like it comes from the same place that the ‘everything in slow motion’ thing comes from when you go into shock- after a car accident or whatever-
Definitely made me understand that the brain doesn’t need psychedelics to trip balls it can do it all on its own but not in a good way necessarily. The guy in the article seems to have had it much worse than me
Yes- plus unlike schizophrenia or DID you don’t lack insight, you know it’s your brain fucking with you- you know it’s not real-understanding that takes away some of the fear x
Glad you’re managing it now. Sounds frightening. Even the slightest of changes to our brains can have profound changes, yet we have, in general, a fairly stable, mutually agreed, experience of our conscious lives. I find this fact pretty astounding. Damage to certain parts of the brain and you are eternally stuck in moment of time, think you are dead, feel that parts of your body are not yours.
Our everyday, conscious, experience is as wild as anything any external chemical could conjure up.
I used to live in Catford. I one saw Omar three different places in the area across the day. One in Lewisham, one in Catford and can’t remember where third was… someone told me he does a few weddings a day on the weekends just turning up singing ‘Nothing Like This’ then doing the next one…
“When in “If I Was Your Girlfriend” Prince sang about trying to imagine what silence looked like, I tend to think he had Sly in his rear view mirror. So many of his peak-era tracks use space and silence and murmurs to such compelling ends.”
I always thought this was a look at a musician/addict that rung true for me
“A lot of times you have a deadline and you have to work for 24 hours. This lets you do it with no pain, no tiredness,” he went on. “If I have to write a book, get me high — I’ll have the book written in two weeks. You’re lucid. And emotions don’t affect you as much — your anger — it bottles up your feelings. It makes you more rational, or you think you are, anyway. You sleep wonderfully. I’m a lifelong insomniac.”