New Year's Resolutions

I’m never usually one for New Year’s resolutions, however, earlier today I considered where and to whom my energies go to and how I can channel that energy to people who actually show up and add to my life. Just now I saw this quote from Anthony Hopkins posted to Facebook and it summed up what I had been thinking of perfectly.

" Let go of people who aren’t ready to love you.
This is the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change. Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence.

I know your instinct is to do everything you can to gain the appreciation of those around you, but it’s an impulse that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.
When you start fighting for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you to that place.

That doesn’t mean you have to change who you are, it means you have to let go of people who aren’t ready to be with you. If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you are not doing yourself a favor by continuing to offer them your energy and your life.

Truth is, you’re not for everyone and not everyone is for you. This is what makes it so special when you find people that you have friendship or love matched. You will know how precious it is because you’ve experienced what it isn’t. There are billions of people on this planet and a lot of them you will find at your level of interest and commitment.

Maybe if you stop showing up, they won’t look for you.
Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship ends.
Maybe if you stop texting, your phone will stay dark for weeks.

That doesn’t mean you ruined the relationship, it means the only thing that was holding it was the energy that only you gave to keep it. That’s not love, that’s attachment. It’s giving a chance to those who don’t deserve it!

You deserve so much more.

The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy as both are limited. The people and things you give your time and energy to, will define your existence. When you realize this you start to understand why you’re so anxious when you spend time with people, activities or spaces that don’t suit you and shouldn’t be near you.

You’ll start to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and everyone around you, is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, in which only people “compatible” with you are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving anyone. It’s not your responsibility to convince them to improve. It’s not your job to exist for people and give them your life! You deserve real friendships, true commitments, and complete love with healthy, prosperous people. Deciding to distance yourself from harmful people, will give you the love, esteem, happiness and protection you deserve."

At the risk of sentimentality, what are your NY resolutions, if indeed you have any?

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I feel like this was my unofficial 2022 journey, but I’ve never seen it written so eloquently or tried to put it to words myself. Thanks for posting that up.

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  1. Be more grateful/show gratitude

  2. Memento Mori (Meditate on my death)*

  3. Make more music

*Not as a morbid thing, more to spur action in the present

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The usual, based on an old Swedish proverb

“Fear less, hope more;
eat less, chew more;
whine less, breathe more;
talk less, say more;
hate less, love more;
and all good things are yours.”

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Reminds me a bit of the lyrics to this:

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This year was a real wakeupcall for me. Less wallowing, timewasting and featherweight friendships in 2023.

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The above words say a lot more than I have the eloquence to say.

Maybe I can be the good person I once was, trying always to be the best version of me.

Happy New Year TP crew… appreciate y’all.

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Mine are all quite practical…

Quit refined sugar (have a feeling this will be tougher than quitting smoking)

Eat no meat (will still eat fish though I think but to be seen)

Do yoga

Keep the gym up

Learn to dive

And don’t beat myself up if I fail at any of the above.

Happy new year fellas. X

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Kinda starting a new life in 2023 so shits about to get real :joy:

Getting and starting a new job in a new career.

Spending as much time with my old man before the dementia hits hard(er), including helping him finish his final book.

Back to swimming and yoga. And study.

And volunteering.

More time spent on the process of making music.

Reconnecting and strengthening the positive relationships in my world.

Do more of the shit that puts love into the universe and less of the other shit stuff.

Have a good one folks!

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read more, speak less

spend more time in physical record stores, and always bring the kid

engage

study music theory

plan for the next stage

honor thy mother and father (while they’re still alive)

try and eat less bread & cheese

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that’s a fantastic set of words and hits on so many feelings for me, right now

a wonderful year with someone new, sadly ended and as amicable as it was, it dragged on and into the festive period and it really made me ill - and her too, i’d imagine. as such and after what i can only describe as a ‘therapeutic’ dose on the 30th, i had an epiphany and with that, made the decision to end the contact between us. not out of spite, but it can’t be helping either of us and after the year we’d had, i wouldn’t want to undo the good

so this coming year is going to involve a lot more looking at the positives. getting fitter, a break from alcohol, more visits to see friends and places and relishing the fact that i’ll see my 50th

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Fom Dave Haslam’s Twitter, seems apt for this thread

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Mine are quite simple.

Less electronics in my free time.
Read more.
Eat less food that comes from a packet.
Drink more water.
30 minutes of exercise/day.
Produce music under my own name.
Travel less.
Use all my vacation time and not feel guilty about taking it. (A very American problem)

Happy new year!

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I quit sweet stuff about 2 months ago which felt like a big one.

Was considering the Wim Hof/ cold shower thing but I really, really do find it uncomfortable. Any converts here ready to win me over?

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Not exactly living like Wim , but i do try and use the sauna/steam room a couple of times a week when i swim. I always use the cold shower between them for a couple of minutes and that feels great. You can keep your ice baths though.

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Happy New Year TP crew! Hope you all had great holidays

I would really like to disengage with social media this year. I think it’s started to really effect me, particularly creatively. Just getting sick of all the BS in the scene, the pretence and the face you have to keep up in order to try and market anything. I’ve never been comfortable with that side of it; I love the creative process but when it comes to try and push something I’ve made I’m feeling more and more like what’s the point? Maybe I need to find another angle instead of the socials.

Anyway practically speaking think I’m going to take up piano lessons. Maybe I’ll just take a year off making music to do that and see how I feel about it all then.

Anyway best of luck with your resolutions all :slight_smile:

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2 days into the cold showers now. Building up slowly, so I turn the water as cold as it will go for about a minute at the end of my shower. It’s pretty unpleasant at the time but noticeably better if I just focus on my breathing. Definitely feel a bit of an uplift in mood after finishing. Going to persevere with it for sure.

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The big switch I see is people switching to email lists, substack etc. Less engagement with bullshit, but more emails to wade through!

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Good shout. I can certainly deal with more emails in place of faux insta show off videos :slight_smile:

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